7th CHAPTER

7th chapter is here sorry took a long time to write this hehe i was too busy hehe...

CHAPTER 7

If you can’t get someone out of your life or mind then maybe just maybe they are supposed to be there...

Another day has passed; I woke up with tears on my face. I guess I fell asleep crying last night. My eyes are too swollen, I can’t go out like this, I whisper to myself… Last night was way too much to handle, it was embarrassing and too depressing. Jake never called, I guess he don’t have to since Nice is his world now, and I’m left alone with this agonizing pain. I know I shouldn’t expect too much from him but I have no choice I love him, expectations are rarely ignored, I think so… I’m not sure though. Well it’s another big day; I have to go to school and be ready for the things ahead of me. I know I can’t really force myself to be happy, but at least I can be busy and maybe just maybe I can forget him just for a while. Hmmm I have to be optimistic today, I’m really tired of weeping, tired of feeling this ache, and I’m becoming so numb now.

Walking without Jake seems not normal, I mean every time someone sees me, all they ask is “hey where’s Jake?” It really irked me at the same time it makes me feel sad, is it because I miss him? Or I’m just a pathetic loser who they see as the best friend’s keeper.

It may sound crazy but I really look horrible and so pathetic, walking alone with this large sling bag of mine, wearing only a black shirt, jeans and sneakers, and to top it with a very messy hair, didn’t have time to comb it since I thought I was going to be late, tsk tsk… Oh well no one would notice anyway, after this class I’ll go home and probably stay all night surfing the net or watching horror flicks which we usually do…arrgh what am I thinking? Why is it hard to forget someone? Why is this so fucking hard?

“Hey, Ice! Wait up!” Hmm someone is calling out my name, who could that be, I’m late for class now, am I suppose to stop walking…God must be so angry at me, that he had really turn my day horrible.

“What?!” this better be good….

“Hey, why so hot headed?”

Shit! Jake is standing there as I turned around to face the one calling me…

“Hey, you ok dude?” it was actually Jake, the last person I don’t want to see right now.

“Hey, it’s you. I’m sorry I thought it was somebody else.” I smiled a bit, not because I was happy to see him, I’m still mad at him, but it’s so injustice for him if I get mad…. Because in the first place he doesn’t know how I feel for him.

“You have a class right, and from what I know, hehe you’ll be late…in 5 4 3 2 1…” the bell rang, he was right, I’m so late…arrgh!!!!

“You jerk! What do you want anyway?”

“I miss you; I miss hanging out with my best friend, so let’s cut class and hang out?”

Those three words really made my heart melt; it was like a euphoric feeling that took all the sorrows away. I was just standing there, it felt like my world had stopped turning, if only, it could stay this way…

“Where’s Nice?” Nice move Ice, why do u have to ruin it?

“Oh! Nice? She’s in class right now, hmmm I don’t wanna hang out with her, and I wanna hang out with you.”

“I see… oh well since I’m too late for class now, why not.”

I guess I just can’t help myself from being too soft, I can’t even ignore or forget him right away. He’s my best friend; he’s the only person who understands me, and the one I love. I know it’s not fair for him or for me, but there’s nothing I can do now, I can’t force him to get out of my life, however there’s one thing I could do, I could just be happy for him and maybe just maybe this will go away….

6th CHAPTER ( expectations...)

6th chapter is here...hope you'll like it guys...

CHAPTER6

Have you ever been told that everything is supposed to be reciprocated? Someone told me that if you’re really happy, probably the next thing you’ll feel is intense sadness. The intensity of sadness equals the intensity of happiness. I didn’t believe it first till that day:

A day has passed and still I haven’t seen Jake, and I miss him dreadfully. Well he called me a while ago and he wants to have dinner with me, my heart skipped a beat as I heard his voice. Well I have 30 minutes left before this boring class ends and we’ll see each other, at last… I’ve been spacing out lately, I can’t concentrate, I kept on thinking about what happened, about Jake, about us. Is it too much for me to handle? Or am I just too coward to face what I truly feel? I was in the middle of reminiscing the pain I felt, when someone called my name…

“Miss Jose? Cassandra Jose?”

I was surprised and suddenly dropped my pen. My classmates were staring at me, and I really don’t have a clue why…

“Miss Jose are you okay? It seems you’re mind is not in the class.”

I didn’t say anything, a simple I’m okay would do but instead I just stared at him, what a freak I am, and a total loser. Three girls in front were giggling as they look at each other's faces while glancing at me. They would have thought I was crazy or something. I was about to speak when the bell rang. They suddenly moved from their seats and it was obvious they really didn’t care on what I have to say. So I just grabbed my books and went to our fave resto, I’ll have to wait for Jake there.

What took him so long? He was never late before. I’m so excited to see him that I can’t wait any longer. He said he wanted to have dinner with me…hmmm…just the thought of it gives me happiness inside, a wonderful feeling that I can’t describe. If only I could just jump here and shout how happy I am. I couldn’t care less. I’ll call him? No I shouldn’t…or what about SMS? Yeah I should, and while waiting I’ll just have to order his favorite food and drink, and then I’ll tell him later that it’ll be my treat for now. Great idea Ice!

Where the hell are you Jake? The food is getting cold. He better have a good excuse…I just miss him so bad that I can’t be patient. Oops my phone is ringing, it’s Jake!

“You jerk! Where the hell are you?”

“Ice could you watch your mouth please?”

“Okay Jake, where are you?”

“Ice we’re almost there.” We? Who’s with him?

“What do you mean by we?

“Oh I haven’t told you?” then he hang up, or his phone died.

Who’s with him, I’m really wondering?

“Ey, Ice meet Nice, she’s the one I’m talking about.” Jake was standing there with this hot innocent girl, and I don’t know what to say. I didn't even noticed they came in, i was too busy sending some text messages and they were there, boom! I could have prepared myself...but too late i guess...

Suddenly the happiness I’ve felt a while ago was gone, as if my heart was ripped out. I couldn’t utter a word. I thought we were having dinner alone…I thought I could have a great time tonight.

“Hey I’m Nice, you’re Ice right? I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”

I was just staring at her and as she extends her hand, I just look at her face, staring at her angelic face.

“Hmmm, Ice are you still mad coz we are late?” Jake was really embarrassed about the way I acted. And yet I hadn’t pay any attention to what he is saying, I can barely move. I don’t know why, it felt horrible; the pain was too much I had to get out of here.

“I have to go now. My mom called me, it’s urgent. I already ordered, I guess you two can eat that.” I rushed at the door, I even felt my knees shaking. I never looked back. I don’t know what Jake’s expression is, and I’m not interested to know. All I’m thinking now is to get out of there and breathe. My heart was beating so fast that it’s really hard to breathe. I was like gasping for air. Why does he have to bring her along? I thought he wanted to have dinner with me? I guess I was wrong…

5th CHAPTER (guilty?)

yeah 5th chapter is here....hmmm..AGAIN!!!! well i just hope someone will comment in my blog...so that i'll know that it's been read!:praying: Again if you're new...begin at the first post up to third...(bottom to top)AGAIN feel free to comment...(chatbox) and enjoy....:)

CHAPTER 5

So there I was, standing still at the corner of my room, still in agony, feeling stupid again. What will Jake think? How will I explain my anger to him? How will I tell him that I was jealous and I was afraid that I’ll lose him? Lots of questions have been bothering on my mind that day, and I didn’t have a clue on how to answer all of it. Yes, Jake and I fought several times before, but not like this, it was always too shallow, we always patch things up after. As usual he always goes to my house to apologize even if it’s my fault. Then after that we always talk about what was wrong and he’d ask me why did I get mad then I’ll explain it to him, and there’s always a reason to tell…but how will I explain to him what happened? I can’t tell him the truth…

“argh! Damn it! I wanna die!”

I was sitting at my bed, so furious, when my phone rang.

Who could it be? Is it Jake? I’m not ready to talk to him. The phone was still ringing and I was just staring at it till it stopped. I carefully grabbed my phone. Hmm 10 missed calls and several messages and it was all Jake’s. Then it began to ring again, it was Jake, I have to answer this…

“Hello?” my voice was low.

“Ice? What happened? Are you mad at me? What did I do wrong? Why aren’t you answering my calls or even my messages?” Jake asked irritatingly.

“Jake… Hmm I fell asleep, didn’t hear the phone…it was on silent.”

“Oh, I thought you’re really mad.”

“No I’m not, you silly.”

“So what’s with the walk out thing?”

“Oh that? Ehehe I was on a hurry you jerk!”

“Oh really? and since when do you cut class?”

“Oh that, ahmm…” shit, think Ice, think… “Ah… PMS!”

Good thinking Ice, PMS(premenstrual syndrome)… nice excuse.

“Oh…so that’s the reason…I can’t really understand women!”

“Jake I better hang up now, I’m not really feeling well.”

“Ice?”

“Yes? What?” I asked curiously.

There’s something about his voice, it really felt good inside, and it made me forget about the pain…

“You take care okay? If you need something just call me, or do you want me to come by?” He sincerely asked…and damn it felt good!

“No thanks Jake. I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Bye.” I hang up. Jake was really concern about me, and I felt terrible for lying to him. But I have no choice, I have to…

4rth CHAPTER (favor)

guys, fourth chapter of ice's story is here......(applause) haha well i just hope someone will comment in my blog...so that i'll know that it's been read! well guys, again if u just read this now as in you're a newbie with this, begin at the first post up to third...(bottom to top)AGAIN feel free to comment...(chatbox) and enjoy....:)

CHAPTER 4
So there I was sitting in one corner of my room, feeling so brainless, humiliated, mortified, for acting so weird in front of Jake. I know it’s not his fault, he doesn’t know that I love him and he never will… for now. I never went to class that afternoon, never checked my phone. I’m just gaping at the four cornered walls with stupid posters around it. Music was turned on so loud, I guess but still I can’t hear anything, perhaps my senses are getting numb for the reason that, all I can think is the agony of losing Jake to someone. I was in a verge of losing my sanity, when someone knocked on the door. I opened it, and it was my mom. My dear mom, how come she’s home?
“Isabel!” she looked furious again, what is it this time?
“Its Ice mom…what do you want?”
“Isabel could you turn that damn thing off, it’s too loud!”
“What?!” I enjoyed looking at her face like that; I mean you know getting furious and mad at the same time irked.
“Turned that damn thing off!” she’s too funny, making hand signals as if I can’t hear her. What does she want now? Last time she talked to me was last last week I guess, I was scolded for missing her welcome back party. Yeah that’s my mom always traveling in Europe or states. “Business comes first darling, how can you spend your 16th birthday without money.” That’s what she said when I ask her how come I can’t spend my birthday with her. What a total loser! Now what does she want now?
“What do you want?” I was turning the music off while wiping the tears of my face.
“Well, I’m glad I caught you home this time.”
“Mom, I think that’s my line…”
“Stop being silly, I have a favor to ask you dear.”
“Favor?” Oh my, now thinking about it gives me the creeps. What could she want from me? I hope not another boring party to attend.
“Yes, Well my top client’s son will be arriving three months from now, he’s about a year older than you.”
“So…”
“So I want you to accompany him while he is having a vacation here in the Philippines.”
“What? Is he a retard or something?” My mom is crazy, is kissing ass her top priority now?
“No he is not retard, watch your mouth Isabel. He is Mr. Ferber’s son and he asked me a little favor since he knew I have a daughter.”
“Ice mom, not Isabel. Unfortunately I am the daughter…”
“Yes you are, don’t worry he is nice, I met him once at New York. Steven is a good boy. So you better be hospitable.”
“There’s nothing I can do now, whether I like it or not I know you’ll do anything just to ruin my life.”
“Stop that nonsense, just pick him at the airport, introduce yourself and make him comfortable here. Okay?”
“He is staying here?”
“Yes, of course, he could stay at the guest room.”
“Whatever, when will he be arriving?”
“September 23, don’t you forget the date okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be leaving for Kentucky next week, so take care. Oh I forgot, Jake went here a minute ago, I told him you’re sleeping. The next time you ever had a fight with Jake, please don’t turn the music full blast, you always do that.”
Hmm even though mom was always busy, she knows me well and whenever Jake and I had a fight I know she always knew. She’s not too bad; after all she’s my mother.

3rd CHAPTER (secrets)

hey hey guys i'm here again... this is the 3rd chapter of Ice's story. anyway to those who just check out this blog(newbies), first u have to read the first post then the second then the third(start from bottom to top!).... so that u can comprehend well in this chapter...hope u enjoy this....again feel free to comment!

CHAPTER 3

Yes, that was embarrassing no need to rub it hard. Well the great pop up question I asked never made a difference in our relationship, after the most thwarting incident, both Jake and I acted as if nothing happened. It was considered as a passed by joke, and yet I undergone uneasiness and hopelessness regarding these things I’ve felt, it was like I was ripped out of hope and chances are already taken away from me. Hmmm however that didn’t drive me away from him, I continue to like him, care for him even if I was the only one who knew it. It was like I’m trapped in this dark, solitude place that I couldn’t escape from, the feeling of uneasiness have grown day by day as if I was about to be swallowed by these thoughts, I wanted to let it go but as time passes by it kept crawling back and back, devouring my whole body, clenching every strength I’ve made to deny thy feelings. Maybe as young as I was back then, I have fallen in love for the very first time, and I didn’t know what else to do but just wait for the right moment and time to talk to him and express how much I really love him. So months have passed by, we both went to college, he took up business ad and I took up fine arts. We both went to the same university so it was easier for us to hang out, and luckily we both have the same free time, actually I was the one who planned the schedules hehehe so clever of me huh? Well it would be nice if I could just say that we lived happily ever after then, consequently that didn’t happen. Yes, I still love Jake, however he doesn’t know about it and I was too coward to say it, and something terrible happened, well not that terrible just some bumpy road that we bumped as we were traveling our intertwined paths. Hmm maybe you’re really wondering what did happen, to cut a long story short Jake met someone in his class! Ouch! Just thinking of it makes my heart ripped out to pieces. Why not? Of course I can’t control him, we’re not even in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, so I can’t do anything but to accept the fact that it’s not only our world but there were others too who in reality want a piece of him. So it happened like this, first heart ache:

“Hey Ice, I have been looking everywhere for you?” Jake was running towards me, sweating and looks really hot with his black shirt and rugged pants with his old sneakers.

“Oh hi Jake…what’s up? Why are you running?” I was deeply happy that he was in a hurry looking for me, maybe he wanted to tell me something, something I’ve been waiting to hear…oh just wake up Ice…It’s not that, stop dreaming and don’t space out!

“Well remember our English class?” Jake was really excited that day, and I was wondering why?

“Yeah, the most boring class, yup you mentioned it last week. The first meeting sucks, your teacher was really dull.”

“Well not anymore! Ice if you’d only seen her she was really the perfect…”

“What? You have a new teacher?”

“No! Could you stop interfering, could you just listen to me Ice?”

“Who is perfect?” Now from the looks of it, I already knew that something happened, and this would really hurt.

“Well I met someone, her name is Nice, my classmate, and she was absent the last time so I didn’t see her.”

“So…” I just raised my eyebrows just to let him know I really don’t care.

“So… she is perfect, I mean she is beautiful, smart, friendly and hot.” The way he talked about the girl, it made me want to throw up. My whole world seems to black out, my knees got weaker and weaker that it’s shaking the whole time.

“Hmm Jake…I have to go to class now.” I came up with a very stupid excuse, maybe it’s because I can’t take it anymore, every remark he spoke of about Nice is really pissing me off.

“Duh? How come? You don’t have classes till 4 pm… its lunch break dude; we’re going to go have lunch together, right?” Jake was looking very confused at that moment.

“Ahmm... ehehehe…not class, silly… I’m sorry I can’t go to lunch with you, I mean I have to go to a meeting with my group in, you know, it’s the project, I mean, you know that already.” I don’t know what’s happening to me at that jiffy. It’s like I can’t think properly, all I can think of is how much pain I’ve been enduring at that moment. I wanna cry out loud, punch someone; I just want to run as fast as I can.

“Hmm honestly, Ice I don’t know what you’re talking about but I think you’re upset or something.”

“Me? Upset?”

“Yes, I know you too well Ice, if you’re stuttering like that, I know you’re upset. I know how you feel but I don’t know why. Is something wrong?”

“You don’t know how I feel Jake, you just don’t know.” Now there I was looking so stupid again, running away from Jake. I never looked back, all I know is that he’s shouting my name and constantly fading away, his voice.

to be continued...

2ND CHAPTER (STORY OF ICE)

ey guys here's my continuation of ice's story, 2nd chapter... hope you enjoy it... to those who just check today just read the first post so that u can relate to this..feel free to comment and subscribe if you want i appreciate it...:) enjoy!!!!

CHAPTER2

Now, now don’t get too pretty excited because the rest was not really that interesting. So we became friends, Jake and me. We usually hang out during class, after class and weekends too. We were inseparable, he was my confidant and I was his only friend. Well through out the whole school year we were treated as outcast, because of simplest reason that we were both different from others. I never cared and so did he, we were happy. Now because of these intense feelings I’ve felt during our senior year, I was really confuse back then and made the biggest embarrassing question. Yes, I asked Jake something that’s really awkward to hear from a girl. It was a Saturday night, 9:45 pm on the first of February, Jake and I were both sitting in an abandoned building right next to this old church we have in our place, we were quietly staring at the sky in the stillness and silence of that night. We always hang out there, it was our secret meeting place, and well that’s what I think of it, while he was referring it as a secret hideout from the chaotic world. Jake had a lot of issues back then… So there I was very confused, my palms are sweating, my heart was beating faster, talk about hormones!

“Ja..Jake?” my voice was trembling.

“Ice?” Jake’s voice was calm as he spoke my name.

So I look at him, stared at his eyes then answered “yes?”

He glanced at me, and then looks at me with confusion and said “are you okay?”

“I..I…” I just sit still there; my body is just sitting there motionless as if I’ve been paralyzed or something. I can’t even think straight, I wanted to tell him how much I like him, how much I really really like him. I wanted to tell him that he is the only person I cared for, and he’s the reason I never want to go back to the states again. That without him my life would be very lonely as hell.

“What?” he smiled at me looking so confused.

“I… well… can I kiss you?” oh my god! What did I do? What the heck was that? That’s not what I had in mind a while ago…

“huh?” he was shocked, from the looks of his face, I can tell that he was really disgusted, or not…I really don’t know… it’s very hard to tell… until he burst out loud, laughing. He was laughing too much that it made me laugh too.

“You’re really something Ice…you know how to break an ice…” he just stood up and started walking.

“hehe…we are so quiet, so I thought of something very funny, like you said I really know how to break an ice.” Talk about crap, so I just followed him, embarrassed, and yet relieved.

(to be continued....)

i'm new at this..so what?

hmmm so this is it...my ever first post...well here's the product of my boredom..hope you'll enjoy it...

INTRODUCTION

It was a very cold night, the wind softly touching my face, I was drenched in the bitter rain, crying my heart out, screaming his name while his shadows soothingly vanishes in the dark and yet no matter how hard I yell no one was able to notice. Not them, not him, not me…

“Ice!”

I turned around, someone is calling my name.

“Ice!”

Who could it be? I answered back blankly. “ye..yes”

“it’s me Jake”

Jake? My best friend Jake, the ever loyal Jake…Jake whom I fell in love with, 6 years ago…Jake who had rejected me…It was Jake…

“Are you okay?” Jake, carrying an umbrella shook me to death, repetitively shouting and screaming something I can’t hear nor comprehend. Why? Pain is the only thing I felt, how unfortunate! How miserable!

“Ja...Jake...” the sound of his name made me realize one thing, I have no one now…first, Jake had redundantly deny my love for him and now the only man who made me look forward in every sunrise, had left me. I am nothing, worthless; rubbish crap…I want to die!

CHAPTER1

Hmmm… Before this shitty thing happened to me, let me introduce my self and tell you the whole story of triviality concerning my failure in love, friendship and life. I’m Isabel Cassandra Elena Jose, but they call me Ice for short. I and my mom moved in the Philippines when I was 14 yrs old, dad and mom got divorced, that’s why. It was a crucial moment for me since I grew up in San Francisco and lived my whole childhood years there, a total bummer right? New place, school and people… Typical adjustment period, however it was not hard fitting in, high school here is not that difficult in terms of pecking order of social status. Although there are easy ways to fit in, I never tried to be cool. I was obsessed on how to ruin my life, planning to do some things that my parents will surely reconsider on sending me in this crappy place; as a result, I could go back to my home, my space, my San Francisco. Ha ha ha what a total loser I am back then! Anyway so I throw my stuffs I mean my dolls and all that possesses the color pink, tried to change my attitude as sweetness to roughness. I then started to like everything that is black and weird. My mother was furious, she tried to change and bring back the old me and yet I’m starting to love the new me…day by day I was amazed on how cool to be different even though I don’t have any friends, it was the best revolutionize thing I’ve ever done. A year later in my third year in high school, I met Jake, a transferee. He was different from others; he is always quiet and is always sitting in front of me in every class. He smiles when I look at him but never spoken a word. He glances timidly when I pass the hallways, day after day I begin to wonder what kind of person is Jake. He used to sit on a bench alone with his sketchbook and pencil during our lunch break, and I used to watch him everyday from afar, thinking on what he could be thinking. Then one rainy afternoon I was about to go home when someone called my name,

“Ice!”

I turned around and saw Jake dripping wet holding a book…a book with my name.

It was mine. I left it at the bench I used to sit at every lunch break, and I think I left it there.

“Is that mine?” I asked, for the very first time I never felt so excited to know someone.

“Yes, you left it at the bench.” He was dripping wet, and still he is smiling.

I never felt like it, my heart beating fast, goose bumps are all over my spine, I felt intense happiness with only one gesture he made. That day was the start of a very good friendship, and the first time I had a crush on a boy.

(to be continued...)

i'll try to write the second chapter later so maybe next week you can read it already...just feel free to comment guys...