If you can’t get someone out of your life or mind then maybe just maybe they are supposed to be there...
Another day has passed; I woke up with tears on my face. I guess I fell asleep crying last night. My eyes are too swollen, I can’t go out like this, I whisper to myself… Last night was way too much to handle, it was embarrassing and too depressing. Jake never called, I guess he don’t have to since Nice is his world now, and I’m left alone with this agonizing pain. I know I shouldn’t expect too much from him but I have no choice I love him, expectations are rarely ignored, I think so… I’m not sure though. Well it’s another big day; I have to go to school and be ready for the things ahead of me. I know I can’t really force myself to be happy, but at least I can be busy and maybe just maybe I can forget him just for a while. Hmmm I have to be optimistic today, I’m really tired of weeping, tired of feeling this ache, and I’m becoming so numb now.
Walking without Jake seems not normal, I mean every time someone sees me, all they ask is “hey where’s Jake?” It really irked me at the same time it makes me feel sad, is it because I miss him? Or I’m just a pathetic loser who they see as the best friend’s keeper.
It may sound crazy but I really look horrible and so pathetic, walking alone with this large sling bag of mine, wearing only a black shirt, jeans and sneakers, and to top it with a very messy hair, didn’t have time to comb it since I thought I was going to be late, tsk tsk… Oh well no one would notice anyway, after this class I’ll go home and probably stay all night surfing the net or watching horror flicks which we usually do…arrgh what am I thinking? Why is it hard to forget someone? Why is this so fucking hard?
“Hey, Ice! Wait up!” Hmm someone is calling out my name, who could that be, I’m late for class now, am I suppose to stop walking…God must be so angry at me, that he had really turn my day horrible.
“What?!” this better be good….
“Hey, why so hot headed?”
Shit! Jake is standing there as I turned around to face the one calling me…
“Hey, you ok dude?” it was actually Jake, the last person I don’t want to see right now.
“Hey, it’s you. I’m sorry I thought it was somebody else.” I smiled a bit, not because I was happy to see him, I’m still mad at him, but it’s so injustice for him if I get mad…. Because in the first place he doesn’t know how I feel for him.
“You have a class right, and from what I know, hehe you’ll be late…in 5 4 3 2 1…” the bell rang, he was right, I’m so late…arrgh!!!!
“You jerk! What do you want anyway?”
“I miss you; I miss hanging out with my best friend, so let’s cut class and hang out?”
Those three words really made my heart melt; it was like a euphoric feeling that took all the sorrows away. I was just standing there, it felt like my world had stopped turning, if only, it could stay this way…
“Where’s Nice?” Nice move Ice, why do u have to ruin it?
“Oh! Nice? She’s in class right now, hmmm I don’t wanna hang out with her, and I wanna hang out with you.”
“I see… oh well since I’m too late for class now, why not.”
I guess I just can’t help myself from being too soft, I can’t even ignore or forget him right away. He’s my best friend; he’s the only person who understands me, and the one I love. I know it’s not fair for him or for me, but there’s nothing I can do now, I can’t force him to get out of my life, however there’s one thing I could do, I could just be happy for him and maybe just maybe this will go away….