yo guys!!!! i'm sorry, it's been months...hehe..well i've been busy with my school stuff and all which i really hate FYI. Anyway i posted 4 chapters for you to read (if there's really reading this hehe....) I would like to apologize to those who bothered reading AMATURE, sorry for the late post...and thanks for the comments...hehe well a reminder to the newbies!scroll down...start reading from chapter 1..it's in the bottom..:P hehe thanks! and to those who are not new here chapter 8 is done and you know the drill....
I would like to thank a very good friend of mine, because of her i really find the time to post the four chapters. She'll be leaving to the states next month, damn i'm gonna miss her so much. Hey Irene here's what you want, i've posted it all....i will miss you and take care...oh in case you forget, size 5 lng ko hehehe..just kidding....
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
11th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 11
“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”
Jennifer Aniston
I just stopped. My whole world suddenly stopped. I was like drowning in the deep waves, then it’s suddenly hard to breathe, I was plunge forcibly… little by little, the pain suffocated me. I didn’t even remember it felt like this, it was too much harder than before.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Steve was staring at my phone. There’s a look in his face, look of nosiness, is he curious who was calling? I could see apparently through his face that all he could think of is stealing my phone, but he was restraining himself, of course.
And there I was, startled and at the same time relieved. I, for a second, thought that I’ll be asphyxiated by the ache I have buried deep inside me, well I tried to bury it, however it keeps leaking out.
“Huh?” I just stared at him, and then I did the most stupid thing a person could do… I threw my phone at the trash can. Yeah I just threw my phone, my only phone, and did I mentioned, my expensive phone!
“Whoa! Did u just do that?” Steve was in shocked by the impulsive reaction I’ve made.
“Yeah, do you have a phone?” I too can’t believe what I have done, my mom would burn me alive.
“What? Are you going to throw it too? No way!”
“Relax. . . I’m just gonna call my mother.”
Steve unwillingly, so hesitant, gave his phone, and I was about to smile when it rang. And I recognize the number without doubt.
“Mom?” I picked up hesitantly looking for reasons, how my phone ended up in the trash can.
“Isabella? Is that you? Thank god, you’re with Steve. Is he okay? That poor boy. Can I speak to him?”
What the heck? She looked like she found her lost precious ring, yeah! Thank you mom!!!! We found your prized retard so can I go on with my life now!
“Isabella?”
“Yeah sure mom.” I handed the phone to Steve.
“Hey? Ma’am? It’s okay. Yeah, no problem. Well…?” Steve was walking away; clearly he doesn’t want me eavesdropping.
What the hell, you tell mom everything, so what! I really don’t care, I never cared. I stopped caring since I was forced to move in this crappy place. The only reason I wanna stay here is gone and somehow I really don’t care at all. I am so angry, deep down inside I am so angry with myself, with Jake, with these feelings. I feel rage hidden somewhere inside of me. All I really want is to leave this place and forget everything.
“Hey you’re mom wants to talk to you…” Steve caught me spacing out again, I can’t imagine how he thinks of me.
“Mom?”
“You lost your phone?”
“I could totally explain, mom! I…”
“No need, I’ll send you a new one. Steve filled me with details a while ago, treat him well. Bye.” Just like that, I wasn’t yelled at, and she’ll be sending me a new phone.
“Here. What did you tell my mom?” I handed the phone and I couldn’t believe how powerful the guy standing in front of me, is he that charming that my mom had to be swiped off her feet? Plus, he persuades her to buy me a new phone without asking any questions. Normally mom asks explanations, she never trusts that I lost something which I haven’t got to do with the thing being lost. It was always my fault. But not this time? Hmmm… Steve has the charms he needed; it was like his power, imagine you have that ability; you could get out of trouble anytime anywhere and to anyone, especially my mom. How dandy!
“I would like to tell you but then I have to kill you.” Steve was smiling, again with the perfect smile like that any girl could just be swiped off her feet, but then I’m not just any girl.
“I really don’t care what you’ve told my mother, can we just go, you’ve already wasted my time, let’s not waste another.” Then I turned my back and started walking. I was rude to him, I’m not like that? Not around with Jake… there I was, caught in the act, act of being guilty, guilty as thinking of Jake again, I thought I was going to forget him. I guessed it’s not that easy. He’s just there inside me, lurking behind my mind, wanting to get out, waiting for every chance he could get, waiting for me to be remembered.
“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”
Jennifer Aniston
I just stopped. My whole world suddenly stopped. I was like drowning in the deep waves, then it’s suddenly hard to breathe, I was plunge forcibly… little by little, the pain suffocated me. I didn’t even remember it felt like this, it was too much harder than before.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Steve was staring at my phone. There’s a look in his face, look of nosiness, is he curious who was calling? I could see apparently through his face that all he could think of is stealing my phone, but he was restraining himself, of course.
And there I was, startled and at the same time relieved. I, for a second, thought that I’ll be asphyxiated by the ache I have buried deep inside me, well I tried to bury it, however it keeps leaking out.
“Huh?” I just stared at him, and then I did the most stupid thing a person could do… I threw my phone at the trash can. Yeah I just threw my phone, my only phone, and did I mentioned, my expensive phone!
“Whoa! Did u just do that?” Steve was in shocked by the impulsive reaction I’ve made.
“Yeah, do you have a phone?” I too can’t believe what I have done, my mom would burn me alive.
“What? Are you going to throw it too? No way!”
“Relax. . . I’m just gonna call my mother.”
Steve unwillingly, so hesitant, gave his phone, and I was about to smile when it rang. And I recognize the number without doubt.
“Mom?” I picked up hesitantly looking for reasons, how my phone ended up in the trash can.
“Isabella? Is that you? Thank god, you’re with Steve. Is he okay? That poor boy. Can I speak to him?”
What the heck? She looked like she found her lost precious ring, yeah! Thank you mom!!!! We found your prized retard so can I go on with my life now!
“Isabella?”
“Yeah sure mom.” I handed the phone to Steve.
“Hey? Ma’am? It’s okay. Yeah, no problem. Well…?” Steve was walking away; clearly he doesn’t want me eavesdropping.
What the hell, you tell mom everything, so what! I really don’t care, I never cared. I stopped caring since I was forced to move in this crappy place. The only reason I wanna stay here is gone and somehow I really don’t care at all. I am so angry, deep down inside I am so angry with myself, with Jake, with these feelings. I feel rage hidden somewhere inside of me. All I really want is to leave this place and forget everything.
“Hey you’re mom wants to talk to you…” Steve caught me spacing out again, I can’t imagine how he thinks of me.
“Mom?”
“You lost your phone?”
“I could totally explain, mom! I…”
“No need, I’ll send you a new one. Steve filled me with details a while ago, treat him well. Bye.” Just like that, I wasn’t yelled at, and she’ll be sending me a new phone.
“Here. What did you tell my mom?” I handed the phone and I couldn’t believe how powerful the guy standing in front of me, is he that charming that my mom had to be swiped off her feet? Plus, he persuades her to buy me a new phone without asking any questions. Normally mom asks explanations, she never trusts that I lost something which I haven’t got to do with the thing being lost. It was always my fault. But not this time? Hmmm… Steve has the charms he needed; it was like his power, imagine you have that ability; you could get out of trouble anytime anywhere and to anyone, especially my mom. How dandy!
“I would like to tell you but then I have to kill you.” Steve was smiling, again with the perfect smile like that any girl could just be swiped off her feet, but then I’m not just any girl.
“I really don’t care what you’ve told my mother, can we just go, you’ve already wasted my time, let’s not waste another.” Then I turned my back and started walking. I was rude to him, I’m not like that? Not around with Jake… there I was, caught in the act, act of being guilty, guilty as thinking of Jake again, I thought I was going to forget him. I guessed it’s not that easy. He’s just there inside me, lurking behind my mind, wanting to get out, waiting for every chance he could get, waiting for me to be remembered.
10th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 10
I dream about, how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly,
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear,
People, making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy,
I fantasize about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath… My suicidal dream…..
I didn’t exactly notice the song playing inside my car, it was a song from silver chair, and it kind of conveys what I’m feeling right now. Arrgh! I hate traffic… I hope nothing happened to Steve, it’s been 45 minutes and I’m really sure that the plane landed an hour ago. I don’t know if I’ll be angry with him for making me get up early or I’ll be worried for him because he doesn’t know the place and he’s all alone right now…I think I’ll go with the first part ha-ha!
Hmmm at last, after minutes of driving, airport here I come! Where could Steve be? Hmm should I just wait for him outside or call the security? For god’s sake he’s a year older than you Ice; he knows what to do… Oh, well I’ll just have to go inside and wait for him, I don’t even know what he looks like, and maybe he has a sign or something.
I’ve been standing here for 20 minutes, where is he? the plane arrived an hour ago. This sucks! I’m so hungry and I’m so tired.
“Excuse me? Cassandra?”
“Yes?” hmmm this better be Steve, Well he looks different, and not the one I imagined him to be. I thought he’s the dorky one, the one with the glasses and who looks like a retard… but he’s not, he is awesomely hot! Smoking hot! Tall, with hazel eyes and his shirt compliments his fair skin top with the khaki pants... wow! Not bad…
“Finally! I thought I’ll be staying in a hotel alone, and I’m Steve by the way.” He offered his hands and was waiting for me to shake it, but by the looks of it, I was just staring at him, mesmerized on how hot he is.
“Hmmm are you okay?”
Wake up Ice! Stop staring!
“Oh… How did you know? I mean?” did I mention to you that I look stupid at this time?
“Hmmm I think this would suffice.” He handed an old picture of mine when I was 16 at my mom’s welcome back party. I was not pleased, that pic was horrible. I was not smiling its like I’m too pissed off.
“Oh…It’s Ice by the way.” I gathered myself and pretended to be annoyed. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I can see that he’s too arrogant and by the looks of it he is just some stupid jock who sees me as a dork.
“You’re mom gave me a picture of you and I recognize you immediately because of that look?”
“What look?” Now I’m annoyed, he’s exactly what I pictured him to be, arrogant, stupid jock.
“That look, you’re pissed off right? Look, I’m sorry if I’m a bother to you, if you want I could just check in a hotel.”
Yeah I really like that, but if my mom found out about it I’m totally dead.
“It’s alright, you’re not a nuisance to me and our house is too big for both of us, just don’t get in my way.”
“It’s a deal Ice. Cool name, Isabel Cassandra Elena.” Then he smiled, a smile so perfect, that it makes me thaw out.
I didn’t pay enough attention I just walk ahead of him, and he followed. There’s something about him that intrigues me though. Then my phone rang, it was Jake, he’s calling. For a second I forgot about him, and now all the pain have revisited me, my hands was too shaky, I don’t have the courage to talk to him, not now…
I dream about, how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly,
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear,
People, making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy,
I fantasize about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath… My suicidal dream…..
I didn’t exactly notice the song playing inside my car, it was a song from silver chair, and it kind of conveys what I’m feeling right now. Arrgh! I hate traffic… I hope nothing happened to Steve, it’s been 45 minutes and I’m really sure that the plane landed an hour ago. I don’t know if I’ll be angry with him for making me get up early or I’ll be worried for him because he doesn’t know the place and he’s all alone right now…I think I’ll go with the first part ha-ha!
Hmmm at last, after minutes of driving, airport here I come! Where could Steve be? Hmm should I just wait for him outside or call the security? For god’s sake he’s a year older than you Ice; he knows what to do… Oh, well I’ll just have to go inside and wait for him, I don’t even know what he looks like, and maybe he has a sign or something.
I’ve been standing here for 20 minutes, where is he? the plane arrived an hour ago. This sucks! I’m so hungry and I’m so tired.
“Excuse me? Cassandra?”
“Yes?” hmmm this better be Steve, Well he looks different, and not the one I imagined him to be. I thought he’s the dorky one, the one with the glasses and who looks like a retard… but he’s not, he is awesomely hot! Smoking hot! Tall, with hazel eyes and his shirt compliments his fair skin top with the khaki pants... wow! Not bad…
“Finally! I thought I’ll be staying in a hotel alone, and I’m Steve by the way.” He offered his hands and was waiting for me to shake it, but by the looks of it, I was just staring at him, mesmerized on how hot he is.
“Hmmm are you okay?”
Wake up Ice! Stop staring!
“Oh… How did you know? I mean?” did I mention to you that I look stupid at this time?
“Hmmm I think this would suffice.” He handed an old picture of mine when I was 16 at my mom’s welcome back party. I was not pleased, that pic was horrible. I was not smiling its like I’m too pissed off.
“Oh…It’s Ice by the way.” I gathered myself and pretended to be annoyed. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I can see that he’s too arrogant and by the looks of it he is just some stupid jock who sees me as a dork.
“You’re mom gave me a picture of you and I recognize you immediately because of that look?”
“What look?” Now I’m annoyed, he’s exactly what I pictured him to be, arrogant, stupid jock.
“That look, you’re pissed off right? Look, I’m sorry if I’m a bother to you, if you want I could just check in a hotel.”
Yeah I really like that, but if my mom found out about it I’m totally dead.
“It’s alright, you’re not a nuisance to me and our house is too big for both of us, just don’t get in my way.”
“It’s a deal Ice. Cool name, Isabel Cassandra Elena.” Then he smiled, a smile so perfect, that it makes me thaw out.
I didn’t pay enough attention I just walk ahead of him, and he followed. There’s something about him that intrigues me though. Then my phone rang, it was Jake, he’s calling. For a second I forgot about him, and now all the pain have revisited me, my hands was too shaky, I don’t have the courage to talk to him, not now…
9th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 9
i wait in the same spot
brain like a parking lot
you're the traffic in my head
you're the reason that i'm wrecked
i pray for it to stop
like rain on the sidewalk
the traffic in my head, you're the traffic in my head
there's just too much to forget
- Marie Digby’s Traffic…
Lying awake, it’s been five hours since I lay down in my bed, didn’t even sleep at all. All I can think of is how our lips touched, how cold and soft his lips were, I was like in cloud nine, on the other hand it was heartbreaking to think that things will be different from now on. These thoughts have been an annoyance to me for five hours, it’s getting worse every minute, I can never think straight. I can never imagine what I did; it was a disclosure that he never expected. He didn’t even text me, what is he thinking right now? Arrgh! I hate myself, you could have just kept quiet Ice, you don’t have to say a word… you ambushed him, not thinking about the consequences, you ruined your friendship.
“Did I do the right thing?” The last query in my mind before I fell asleep, at last…
It’s seven am in the morning. I was awaken by the constant ringing on my phone. Who could call me at this hour? As what I’ve known it’s Sunday, no class!
“Hello?” I was still half awake; I’m so pissed off…
“Isabel?”
“Mom?” how did I not see that coming?! What does she want now?
“Are you in the airport now?” What is she talking about?
“What airport mom? It’s Sunday and it’s early in the morning! Are you drunk or something? I thought you’re in Kentucky?”
“You didn’t receive my messages! What are you doing with your phone?! Isabel if something happened to Steven, God knows what I will do to you!”
“What?! I haven’t checked my phone mom…What’s with Steven anyway and who the heck is he? And can you please relaxed…I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
“I told you about Steven before, Mr. Ferber’s son? The one who will be arriving like right now!”
“Oh…the retard? Didn’t you say he will be arriving at September 23? Last time I checked its still August.”
“Isabel, he will be arriving today. I left several messages on your phone thinking you’ll be checking it, something came up so he will be arriving today, so hurry down to the airport because he’s waiting for you! He doesn’t know anyone here so please can you fetch him like right now!” Oooh…from the sound of it I think I’m so in trouble.
“I’m sorry mom, I’m on my way now I’m getting my keys.” Then she hung up. She’s really pissed off. I disappointed her again.
Damn! I just realized I’m a mess, I didn’t even washed my face, just slipped on a tattered jeans and a black shirt, i think this would suffice and besides I think Steven “the retard” might not care at all, and even if he cares, I really don’t care about him, I’m too worn out to worry.
i wait in the same spot
brain like a parking lot
you're the traffic in my head
you're the reason that i'm wrecked
i pray for it to stop
like rain on the sidewalk
the traffic in my head, you're the traffic in my head
there's just too much to forget
- Marie Digby’s Traffic…
Lying awake, it’s been five hours since I lay down in my bed, didn’t even sleep at all. All I can think of is how our lips touched, how cold and soft his lips were, I was like in cloud nine, on the other hand it was heartbreaking to think that things will be different from now on. These thoughts have been an annoyance to me for five hours, it’s getting worse every minute, I can never think straight. I can never imagine what I did; it was a disclosure that he never expected. He didn’t even text me, what is he thinking right now? Arrgh! I hate myself, you could have just kept quiet Ice, you don’t have to say a word… you ambushed him, not thinking about the consequences, you ruined your friendship.
“Did I do the right thing?” The last query in my mind before I fell asleep, at last…
It’s seven am in the morning. I was awaken by the constant ringing on my phone. Who could call me at this hour? As what I’ve known it’s Sunday, no class!
“Hello?” I was still half awake; I’m so pissed off…
“Isabel?”
“Mom?” how did I not see that coming?! What does she want now?
“Are you in the airport now?” What is she talking about?
“What airport mom? It’s Sunday and it’s early in the morning! Are you drunk or something? I thought you’re in Kentucky?”
“You didn’t receive my messages! What are you doing with your phone?! Isabel if something happened to Steven, God knows what I will do to you!”
“What?! I haven’t checked my phone mom…What’s with Steven anyway and who the heck is he? And can you please relaxed…I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
“I told you about Steven before, Mr. Ferber’s son? The one who will be arriving like right now!”
“Oh…the retard? Didn’t you say he will be arriving at September 23? Last time I checked its still August.”
“Isabel, he will be arriving today. I left several messages on your phone thinking you’ll be checking it, something came up so he will be arriving today, so hurry down to the airport because he’s waiting for you! He doesn’t know anyone here so please can you fetch him like right now!” Oooh…from the sound of it I think I’m so in trouble.
“I’m sorry mom, I’m on my way now I’m getting my keys.” Then she hung up. She’s really pissed off. I disappointed her again.
Damn! I just realized I’m a mess, I didn’t even washed my face, just slipped on a tattered jeans and a black shirt, i think this would suffice and besides I think Steven “the retard” might not care at all, and even if he cares, I really don’t care about him, I’m too worn out to worry.
8th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 8
Hanging out with Jake for the very first time since the incident, was like taking the edge off, it felt relaxing, unbelievable as it may seem, it was like my distress have been wiped away in an instant. I wish time would stop at this very moment where we sat beside each other watching this old horror flicks, laughing and not minding everyone around us.
“Ice, I know I’ve been a jerk these past few weeks….” Jake looked at me with all this sincerity in his face.
I just sat there, playing innocent, staring at him waiting for something miraculous event to happen.
“I mean I never actually asked you how you feel about Nice and me, and I’ve been too distant and it’s too unfair for you…and… I…”
“Jake, I have something to tell you… I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I think I’m ready to tell him everything now, we’ve been best friends since like forever, and I owe him the truth. I think I’m ready to accept the reality now, and I think I have to move on, it’s best this way.
“Jake, this may sound crazy but from the very first time I saw you, I know and I’m really sure that you’re the one for me…and…”
“Is this one of your ice breakers? I’m trying to apologize here and you’re always fooling around...” Jake was smiling and so clueless to everything I have spoken, it was like that night, when I told him that embarrassing question about the kiss, and now it’s a dejavu or something.
“No Jake, I’m serious here…I mean I love you, can’t you even feel that? I know that it’s not fair for you and for me, but I have these feelings for three years and I never realized till now that I’m just hoping and dreaming that you feel the same way…and now, I think it’s better to let go of something I haven’t had in the first place.”
I never thought I could said that, it’s been down there, buried deep inside me and now I’m letting it out…and as tears fall from my face, I start caressing his face as if I would never be able to touch it for a while, I hugged him and finally for the first time, I kissed him…gently, softly. It took me a whole bucket of courage to that, and I didn’t regret it, his lips were too soft and it felt like I was running out of air. It felt like I was looking on a series of fireworks exploding, thrill and shiver are crawling into my spine. It was my very first kiss and I suppose it would be my last with him…
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to impose, I know you like Nice more than anyone else, and I respect that…”
“I don’t know what to say Ice…I...”
“You don’t have to say anything Jake... I understand…goodbye Jake.” I walked out there bravely knowing that it would never be the same again and that I had lost my best friend and the only guy I loved.
Hanging out with Jake for the very first time since the incident, was like taking the edge off, it felt relaxing, unbelievable as it may seem, it was like my distress have been wiped away in an instant. I wish time would stop at this very moment where we sat beside each other watching this old horror flicks, laughing and not minding everyone around us.
“Ice, I know I’ve been a jerk these past few weeks….” Jake looked at me with all this sincerity in his face.
I just sat there, playing innocent, staring at him waiting for something miraculous event to happen.
“I mean I never actually asked you how you feel about Nice and me, and I’ve been too distant and it’s too unfair for you…and… I…”
“Jake, I have something to tell you… I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I think I’m ready to tell him everything now, we’ve been best friends since like forever, and I owe him the truth. I think I’m ready to accept the reality now, and I think I have to move on, it’s best this way.
“Jake, this may sound crazy but from the very first time I saw you, I know and I’m really sure that you’re the one for me…and…”
“Is this one of your ice breakers? I’m trying to apologize here and you’re always fooling around...” Jake was smiling and so clueless to everything I have spoken, it was like that night, when I told him that embarrassing question about the kiss, and now it’s a dejavu or something.
“No Jake, I’m serious here…I mean I love you, can’t you even feel that? I know that it’s not fair for you and for me, but I have these feelings for three years and I never realized till now that I’m just hoping and dreaming that you feel the same way…and now, I think it’s better to let go of something I haven’t had in the first place.”
I never thought I could said that, it’s been down there, buried deep inside me and now I’m letting it out…and as tears fall from my face, I start caressing his face as if I would never be able to touch it for a while, I hugged him and finally for the first time, I kissed him…gently, softly. It took me a whole bucket of courage to that, and I didn’t regret it, his lips were too soft and it felt like I was running out of air. It felt like I was looking on a series of fireworks exploding, thrill and shiver are crawling into my spine. It was my very first kiss and I suppose it would be my last with him…
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to impose, I know you like Nice more than anyone else, and I respect that…”
“I don’t know what to say Ice…I...”
“You don’t have to say anything Jake... I understand…goodbye Jake.” I walked out there bravely knowing that it would never be the same again and that I had lost my best friend and the only guy I loved.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
7th CHAPTER
7th chapter is here sorry took a long time to write this hehe i was too busy hehe...
CHAPTER 7
If you can’t get someone out of your life or mind then maybe just maybe they are supposed to be there...
Another day has passed; I woke up with tears on my face. I guess I fell asleep crying last night. My eyes are too swollen, I can’t go out like this, I whisper to myself… Last night was way too much to handle, it was embarrassing and too depressing. Jake never called, I guess he don’t have to since Nice is his world now, and I’m left alone with this agonizing pain. I know I shouldn’t expect too much from him but I have no choice I love him, expectations are rarely ignored, I think so… I’m not sure though. Well it’s another big day; I have to go to school and be ready for the things ahead of me. I know I can’t really force myself to be happy, but at least I can be busy and maybe just maybe I can forget him just for a while. Hmmm I have to be optimistic today, I’m really tired of weeping, tired of feeling this ache, and I’m becoming so numb now.
Walking without Jake seems not normal, I mean every time someone sees me, all they ask is “hey where’s Jake?” It really irked me at the same time it makes me feel sad, is it because I miss him? Or I’m just a pathetic loser who they see as the best friend’s keeper.
It may sound crazy but I really look horrible and so pathetic, walking alone with this large sling bag of mine, wearing only a black shirt, jeans and sneakers, and to top it with a very messy hair, didn’t have time to comb it since I thought I was going to be late, tsk tsk… Oh well no one would notice anyway, after this class I’ll go home and probably stay all night surfing the net or watching horror flicks which we usually do…arrgh what am I thinking? Why is it hard to forget someone? Why is this so fucking hard?
“Hey, Ice! Wait up!” Hmm someone is calling out my name, who could that be, I’m late for class now, am I suppose to stop walking…God must be so angry at me, that he had really turn my day horrible.
“What?!” this better be good….
“Hey, why so hot headed?”
Shit! Jake is standing there as I turned around to face the one calling me…
“Hey, you ok dude?” it was actually Jake, the last person I don’t want to see right now.
“Hey, it’s you. I’m sorry I thought it was somebody else.” I smiled a bit, not because I was happy to see him, I’m still mad at him, but it’s so injustice for him if I get mad…. Because in the first place he doesn’t know how I feel for him.
“You have a class right, and from what I know, hehe you’ll be late…in 5 4 3 2 1…” the bell rang, he was right, I’m so late…arrgh!!!!
“You jerk! What do you want anyway?”
“I miss you; I miss hanging out with my best friend, so let’s cut class and hang out?”
Those three words really made my heart melt; it was like a euphoric feeling that took all the sorrows away. I was just standing there, it felt like my world had stopped turning, if only, it could stay this way…
“Where’s Nice?” Nice move Ice, why do u have to ruin it?
“Oh! Nice? She’s in class right now, hmmm I don’t wanna hang out with her, and I wanna hang out with you.”
“I see… oh well since I’m too late for class now, why not.”
I guess I just can’t help myself from being too soft, I can’t even ignore or forget him right away. He’s my best friend; he’s the only person who understands me, and the one I love. I know it’s not fair for him or for me, but there’s nothing I can do now, I can’t force him to get out of my life, however there’s one thing I could do, I could just be happy for him and maybe just maybe this will go away….
Sunday, September 23, 2007
6th CHAPTER ( expectations...)
6th chapter is here...hope you'll like it guys...
CHAPTER6
Have you ever been told that everything is supposed to be reciprocated? Someone told me that if you’re really happy, probably the next thing you’ll feel is intense sadness. The intensity of sadness equals the intensity of happiness. I didn’t believe it first till that day:
A day has passed and still I haven’t seen Jake, and I miss him dreadfully. Well he called me a while ago and he wants to have dinner with me, my heart skipped a beat as I heard his voice. Well I have 30 minutes left before this boring class ends and we’ll see each other, at last… I’ve been spacing out lately, I can’t concentrate, I kept on thinking about what happened, about Jake, about us. Is it too much for me to handle? Or am I just too coward to face what I truly feel? I was in the middle of reminiscing the pain I felt, when someone called my name…
“Miss Jose? Cassandra Jose?”
I was surprised and suddenly dropped my pen. My classmates were staring at me, and I really don’t have a clue why…
“Miss Jose are you okay? It seems you’re mind is not in the class.”
I didn’t say anything, a simple I’m okay would do but instead I just stared at him, what a freak I am, and a total loser. Three girls in front were giggling as they look at each other's faces while glancing at me. They would have thought I was crazy or something. I was about to speak when the bell rang. They suddenly moved from their seats and it was obvious they really didn’t care on what I have to say. So I just grabbed my books and went to our fave resto, I’ll have to wait for Jake there.
What took him so long? He was never late before. I’m so excited to see him that I can’t wait any longer. He said he wanted to have dinner with me…hmmm…just the thought of it gives me happiness inside, a wonderful feeling that I can’t describe. If only I could just jump here and shout how happy I am. I couldn’t care less. I’ll call him? No I shouldn’t…or what about SMS? Yeah I should, and while waiting I’ll just have to order his favorite food and drink, and then I’ll tell him later that it’ll be my treat for now. Great idea Ice!
Where the hell are you Jake? The food is getting cold. He better have a good excuse…I just miss him so bad that I can’t be patient. Oops my phone is ringing, it’s Jake!
“You jerk! Where the hell are you?”
“Ice could you watch your mouth please?”
“Okay Jake, where are you?”
“Ice we’re almost there.” We? Who’s with him?
“What do you mean by we?
“Oh I haven’t told you?” then he hang up, or his phone died.
Who’s with him, I’m really wondering?
“Ey, Ice meet Nice, she’s the one I’m talking about.” Jake was standing there with this hot innocent girl, and I don’t know what to say. I didn't even noticed they came in, i was too busy sending some text messages and they were there, boom! I could have prepared myself...but too late i guess...
Suddenly the happiness I’ve felt a while ago was gone, as if my heart was ripped out. I couldn’t utter a word. I thought we were having dinner alone…I thought I could have a great time tonight.
“Hey I’m Nice, you’re Ice right? I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”
I was just staring at her and as she extends her hand, I just look at her face, staring at her angelic face.
“Hmmm, Ice are you still mad coz we are late?” Jake was really embarrassed about the way I acted. And yet I hadn’t pay any attention to what he is saying, I can barely move. I don’t know why, it felt horrible; the pain was too much I had to get out of here.
“I have to go now. My mom called me, it’s urgent. I already ordered, I guess you two can eat that.” I rushed at the door, I even felt my knees shaking. I never looked back. I don’t know what Jake’s expression is, and I’m not interested to know. All I’m thinking now is to get out of there and breathe. My heart was beating so fast that it’s really hard to breathe. I was like gasping for air. Why does he have to bring her along? I thought he wanted to have dinner with me? I guess I was wrong…
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