to those who are new here remember to start reading from chapter 1(the oldest post)....and work your way to the top..so you will not get lost. Anyway CHAPTER 16 is here...so enjoy!
CHAPTER 16
I was sitting alone at the street, crying tremendously. Dad called, he had to cancel my visit at my 15th birthday which is by the way 2 days from now. I was supposed to spend some time with him. Dad is different from mom, I like him more. He used to be so fun when I was little, then the divorce happened. So occasionally I got to spend a little less time with him. Now I loathe him. I was so excited for the trip that I had packed my stuff a month ago and now his crushing my hopes just because he had to remarry and go on a honeymoon trip with his young wife on my birthday! Now I know why mom left him.
"Ice? Is that you?" Jake hurriedly walked to me looking so worried.
I quickly wiped the traces of my tears, and pretended to smile.
Jake instantly hugged me tightly. "Don't you ever do that to me again...don't scared me like that, I've been looking for you for an hour already."
I just stood there, so placidly quiet. It felt good, the disappointments and hurt was slowly changed to warm fuzzy feelings.
"I'm not going anywhere Jake...I promised, no matter what, you can always count on me."
I'll stay with you forever.
"Ice? We're here..." Steve was trying to wake me up. I guess i fell asleep in the car while he was driving us home.
"I'm sorry i fell asleep... were here." I immediately concealed the tears i had from the dream.
That dream... It haunted me for hours. I can't even go back to sleep. It happened when I was 15. From the thought of it, I promised Jake that no matter what I'll stay beside him, I was his best friend for god's sake. Now, what happened to us? What I really mean is what happened to me? I was the one who walked away, I was the one who fell in love, I was the one who never kept my promise... and just because for selfish reasons... I was afraid of getting hurt.
I had to get up, what time is it? It's four in the morning and I'm still awake. I guess i need a glass of milk. I remember the first time Steve and I went out together, it was the exact place I'm standing. He forced me to go out with him, he is a bit annoying sometimes, but he makes me forget. Now I thought about his kiss, it made me have this warm fuzzy feeling again. When I'm with Steve, I surprisingly gets out of my comfort zone, he makes me experience new things, things I didn't imagine I would do.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Huh?" Damn i was smiling by myself, and Steve caught me smiling by myself! Arrrgh of all the people why it had to be him.
"Ice? are you okay?hehe i guess you kinda thinking of something..." Steve was staring at me looking so cute with his pjs.
"Ah.. no... I mean yes but not you." of all the answers...me and my big mouth.
"Why are you blushing? Well well well..." he walked near me.
"Are you thinking about this?" then he begun to kiss me again, this time I kissed him back.
I kissed him back, I kissed Steve. I wasn't worried, I wasn't asking questions, I just got out from the box. I never thought of Jake. The guilt, the hurt, it just went away instantly. Could this mean something? Am I just using Steve to forget... or despite the quirkiness, and the differences, am I actually might be falling for this guy? I don't know... but lately he is the only person who puts a smile on my face.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
CHAPTER 15
“Love is like a grass. If you fall on it, it may leave a stain and some temporary pain. But you’ll get over the pain, it will eventually stop hurting. Now maybe the stain ruined your favorite pair of jeans, or maybe it was nothing special that was ruined, but either way the stain remains there. And with time, it will begin to fade, but it will always be there, a permanent reminder that you, too, once fell.”
As we were approaching at the party, people are going wild. Loud cheers and music welcomed us upon our arrival. Steve was waving his hands as we passed by a couple of girls giggling and smiling flirtatiously at him. Me? I couldn't care less, my heart was beating so fast, because I knew that any moment from now, I will see Jake for the first time since like forever. It's been a month since I talked to him, I don't know how would I react and how would I feel. Everything for me is point blank, i can't hear the loud music, the loud cheers, all i noticed is how numb i was feeling it was like I'm drowning, it's hard to breath, I can't do it, I have to run, run away from here, all this crowd, it made me so dizzy.
"Ice? Are you okay?" Steve was holding my hand, and then he hug me amidst of the crowd, he hugged me.
I was just standing there, frozen, shocked yet i felt so calm and it was nice...it rescued me from drowning, it made me feel warm and cozy, I liked it.
"I'm okay now...you can let go." I whispered at his ears.
"Are you sure? You know we can do this all night, hmmmmm.."
"I'm a hundred percent sure Steve, now let go, or I'll kicked your ass..." I was embarrassed 'coz people are staring...
He let go of me and stared at me for a while....
"Ice I know you're scared because you might think you will see Jake, and all the pain that's been hidden there will haunt you back again...however I'll be here at your side okay? If you want us to go, just hold my hand and we will go, for the meantime let's have fun, didn't you say a while ago at the car that we will be having a blast?"
I just nodded and look at him, then i took a deep breath.
"Who wants beer?" I enthusiastically asked him, pretending that all he was saying is true...that it's going to be okay.
We were really having a blast, and Steve was with me all the time, making me laugh...we dance, sang every lyrics of the song playing from the bands. I was having a good time.
"Hey Ice, I'll just have to go to the men's room wait for me here okay?"
I just nodded... I was standing all alone at one corner, smiling to each familiar person who looks at my way.
Then i saw him... Jake walking towards me, he had changed a lot. He look nice, he added a little weight, and he was smiling at me. I felt another rush at my body, but i remained calm and i just stood there looking at him... his eyes were glowing, he's more cuter than i remembered..then i realized something, something I have never felt for a long time now, I miss him, I suddenly miss Jake. No pain, no hurt but a sudden longing...longing for my best friend.
"Ice? Is that you? You changed...I mean you look great, your hair? you cut it? I mean wow, is that really you?" He was looking at me with amusement in his eyes.
"Jake..." It's all I can say....
"You never answered my calls and you were always never home..." Jake was looking at me differently now, it was like hurt, and confusion at the same time.
"I lost my phone, and I was busy...and I..." I can never find the right words to say.
"Babe, there you are...I have been looking all over for you."
Nice, Jake's girlfriend approached us, she was still the same, pretty sophisticated girl, she didn't even notice me.
"So you're still together huh?" I smiled forcefully, pretending not to care...
"Hey, you're Ice right? I remember you... you're Jake's best friend or should I say was his best friend... How..."
"Nice, Have you seen Eli, I think he had my camera, can you look for him?" Jake interrupted her quickly.
"There you are... so you've made friends while I'm gone huh?"
Steve put his arms around my shoulder, over protectively.
"Ah hey..ahmm..Jake meet Steve, Steve this is Jake and Nice." Now this is awkward, but thankfully Steve is here, he rescued me from this misery and I can't wait to go. So I immediately held his hands tightly, I want to leave now.
"Ice, can we go now? I needed to show you something." Steve knew and sense the tension all around us.
"Yeah sure." My hands still holding his, tighter than before.
"Ice... I..." Jake was about to tell me something when Nice interrupted him.
I turned my back, and Steve and I walked holding hands together silently. Tears fell down impetuously. Steve held my hand tighter as we walked and even though we didn't talk about it I know that he felt the pain and hurt that had haunted me again. I can never remove the stain that Jake had caused me, like what they say, in time it will fade but the stain will always still be there...
As we were approaching at the party, people are going wild. Loud cheers and music welcomed us upon our arrival. Steve was waving his hands as we passed by a couple of girls giggling and smiling flirtatiously at him. Me? I couldn't care less, my heart was beating so fast, because I knew that any moment from now, I will see Jake for the first time since like forever. It's been a month since I talked to him, I don't know how would I react and how would I feel. Everything for me is point blank, i can't hear the loud music, the loud cheers, all i noticed is how numb i was feeling it was like I'm drowning, it's hard to breath, I can't do it, I have to run, run away from here, all this crowd, it made me so dizzy.
"Ice? Are you okay?" Steve was holding my hand, and then he hug me amidst of the crowd, he hugged me.
I was just standing there, frozen, shocked yet i felt so calm and it was nice...it rescued me from drowning, it made me feel warm and cozy, I liked it.
"I'm okay now...you can let go." I whispered at his ears.
"Are you sure? You know we can do this all night, hmmmmm.."
"I'm a hundred percent sure Steve, now let go, or I'll kicked your ass..." I was embarrassed 'coz people are staring...
He let go of me and stared at me for a while....
"Ice I know you're scared because you might think you will see Jake, and all the pain that's been hidden there will haunt you back again...however I'll be here at your side okay? If you want us to go, just hold my hand and we will go, for the meantime let's have fun, didn't you say a while ago at the car that we will be having a blast?"
I just nodded and look at him, then i took a deep breath.
"Who wants beer?" I enthusiastically asked him, pretending that all he was saying is true...that it's going to be okay.
We were really having a blast, and Steve was with me all the time, making me laugh...we dance, sang every lyrics of the song playing from the bands. I was having a good time.
"Hey Ice, I'll just have to go to the men's room wait for me here okay?"
I just nodded... I was standing all alone at one corner, smiling to each familiar person who looks at my way.
Then i saw him... Jake walking towards me, he had changed a lot. He look nice, he added a little weight, and he was smiling at me. I felt another rush at my body, but i remained calm and i just stood there looking at him... his eyes were glowing, he's more cuter than i remembered..then i realized something, something I have never felt for a long time now, I miss him, I suddenly miss Jake. No pain, no hurt but a sudden longing...longing for my best friend.
"Ice? Is that you? You changed...I mean you look great, your hair? you cut it? I mean wow, is that really you?" He was looking at me with amusement in his eyes.
"Jake..." It's all I can say....
"You never answered my calls and you were always never home..." Jake was looking at me differently now, it was like hurt, and confusion at the same time.
"I lost my phone, and I was busy...and I..." I can never find the right words to say.
"Babe, there you are...I have been looking all over for you."
Nice, Jake's girlfriend approached us, she was still the same, pretty sophisticated girl, she didn't even notice me.
"So you're still together huh?" I smiled forcefully, pretending not to care...
"Hey, you're Ice right? I remember you... you're Jake's best friend or should I say was his best friend... How..."
"Nice, Have you seen Eli, I think he had my camera, can you look for him?" Jake interrupted her quickly.
"There you are... so you've made friends while I'm gone huh?"
Steve put his arms around my shoulder, over protectively.
"Ah hey..ahmm..Jake meet Steve, Steve this is Jake and Nice." Now this is awkward, but thankfully Steve is here, he rescued me from this misery and I can't wait to go. So I immediately held his hands tightly, I want to leave now.
"Ice, can we go now? I needed to show you something." Steve knew and sense the tension all around us.
"Yeah sure." My hands still holding his, tighter than before.
"Ice... I..." Jake was about to tell me something when Nice interrupted him.
I turned my back, and Steve and I walked holding hands together silently. Tears fell down impetuously. Steve held my hand tighter as we walked and even though we didn't talk about it I know that he felt the pain and hurt that had haunted me again. I can never remove the stain that Jake had caused me, like what they say, in time it will fade but the stain will always still be there...
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