Wednesday, October 8, 2008



Hanging out with Jake for the very first time since the incident, was like taking the edge off, it felt relaxing, unbelievable as it may seem, it was like my distress have been wiped away in an instant. I wish time would stop at this very moment where we sat beside each other watching this old horror flicks, laughing and not minding everyone around us.

“Ice, I know I’ve been a jerk these past few weeks….” Jake looked at me with all this sincerity in his face.

I just sat there, playing innocent, staring at him waiting for something miraculous event to happen.

“I mean I never actually asked you how you feel about Nice and me, and I’ve been too distant and it’s too unfair for you…and… I…”

“Jake, I have something to tell you… I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I think I’m ready to tell him everything now, we’ve been best friends since like forever, and I owe him the truth. I think I’m ready to accept the reality now, and I think I have to move on, it’s best this way.

“Jake, this may sound crazy but from the very first time I saw you, I know and I’m really sure that you’re the one for me…and…”

“Is this one of your ice breakers? I’m trying to apologize here and you’re always fooling around...” Jake was smiling and so clueless to everything I have spoken, it was like that night, when I told him that embarrassing question about the kiss, and now it’s a dejavu or something.

“No Jake, I’m serious here…I mean I love you, can’t you even feel that? I know that it’s not fair for you and for me, but I have these feelings for three years and I never realized till now that I’m just hoping and dreaming that you feel the same way…and now, I think it’s better to let go of something I haven’t had in the first place.”

I never thought I could said that, it’s been down there, buried deep inside me and now I’m letting it out…and as tears fall from my face, I start caressing his face as if I would never be able to touch it for a while, I hugged him and finally for the first time, I kissed him…gently, softly. It took me a whole bucket of courage to that, and I didn’t regret it, his lips were too soft and it felt like I was running out of air. It felt like I was looking on a series of fireworks exploding, thrill and shiver are crawling into my spine. It was my very first kiss and I suppose it would be my last with him…

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to impose, I know you like Nice more than anyone else, and I respect that…”

“I don’t know what to say Ice…I...”

“You don’t have to say anything Jake... I understand…goodbye Jake.” I walked out there bravely knowing that it would never be the same again and that I had lost my best friend and the only guy I loved.

No comments: