FUN. For the very first time, it landed on my lap tonight. I never thought how much i missed having fun and for the very first time it's not with Jake. Now here I am making progress and everything and still Jake had to be brought back from the dead ha ha ha...
So back to reality, I was with Steve the whole night, laughing, having a good time, eating like pigs, and even dancing, which I really refused doing it at first, however Steve made it look so much fun and interesting, so a thousand times of begging and bargaining I actually did it, and it was awesome...the night was awesome. It was a blast! I had a blast... and it was with Steve.
I had never look forward like this for a long time with weekends. It was addicting. It's like a drug that keeps me from screwing my life. Steve and I went out every weekends for the whole month, doing insane things, things I have never got the chance to do with my whole life. We were trying lots of stuff together, activities which we never thought we can ever try. Don't worry nothing illegal anyway. Talking about diversion, lots and lots of diversion.
"Hey Ice, I got something for you...you would really love this." Steve was surprisingly excited handing the fliers.
As usual he was hot, with nothing on top just his khaki shorts.
"What's wrong with you?can't you knock?and why are you naked, you're disgusting!" yep, I always pretended to hate him, I don't know, it kinda works with us.
"Oh c'mon you love it when I don't have my shirt on ha ha ha...it's hot here can't take the hot. So what do you think? Should we try it?"
"I don't know, let me see...hmmm.." As i was browsing it I noticed Jake's name was in it...chief organizer. Something hit me, something sharp, and I tried to catch my breath...everything has resurfaced again, the pain, the shame and even the guilt. I kept silent.
"Yes, he is going to be there Ice, and I know it's been hard on you. However, it's been two months now, you have to face him. Don't you think?"
Steve was right, he knows what I'm going through and he is a good friend. But am I ready for this?
"I don't know Steve, finals are already coming and I had to prepare, and you know...so much things to do..." I made a terrible excuse.
"What? It's next weekend and your final exam is happening this week..that's why we didn't go out right?Oh c'mon, it's like hitting two birds with one stone..you could face Jake and get over him and I can have fun with cute girls plus it's your favorite band..."
"Hmmm why don't you go alone, I'll be fine and besides you'll just left me there alone while you go hang out with hot girls." I can't go, I don't have the guts and I don't want to feel the pain again. I just can't...
"Hey, I will not leave you alone okay?we will do this together, you and me. We will have fun, be crazy and..." he was leaning towards me, and he was touching my face, and i can almost smell his breath...it was... actually, i can't describe it, it felt warm and good.
"Okay..." that's all I can say, while I stare at his eyes, it was like he captivated me.
"Good..." he continued to lean forward, and from what i was thinking I was a hundred percent sure that he is trying to kiss me and i just froze there, i can't hardly move...