CHAPTER 14
There's a feeling people get from a good kiss that's just hard and just hard to explain.
He kissed me. Steve kissed me. It was a one moment thing, a moment i can never forget. When his lips touched mine, intense feelings came rushing in. It was like i was hit by a big wave....or butter melting into my mouth. The kiss lasted a minute or so then his phone rang, and he have to take it.. So i closed the door and now I'm lying here in my bed, so confused. I guess that's what every girl tends to feel after something like that happens, confused, awkward and confused again!
Then i remembered Jake, the exact time and feeling when i kissed him. It was nothing like this...that was good but sad. I almost forget, maybe I'll see him later, and I'm not ready. So many things have been bothering me at this moment, and i don't know how to handle it.
"There you are...I'm sorry we were interrupted.." Steve entered my room, as always, looking suave, so arrogant yet cute.
"Don't you ever knock?" I tried to look cool, you know pretended not to care.
"No i don't...ahmmm you better get ready Ice, we don't wanna be late." then he kissed my cheek.
And i didn't say anything, just stood there...
I wonder what would i wear? Now that's what a typical girl would be worrying!
Count down to shame... that's what I'm doing, while Steve was telling me a lot of things, I was not even listening to him. I kept on looking at the window, trying to figure things out.
"Hey Ice! Are you even listening?" He was looking at me with confusion.
"Huh?" I tried to smile.
"Hey, are you worried?or was it the kiss?" His eyes were on the road now.
"I'm sorry Steve, I don't know... there's a lot of things in my mind right now."
"I know, i shouldn't have done it, I mean i can't help myself Ice...I..."
"Let's just enjoy the night Steve... I'm okay now, and we'll show them that we will be having fun! I got the feeling we will rock the party! wooohooo!" I over did it... I cut him because, i don't know what to say or respond.
"That's my girl..." still looking at the road and he was silent then...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
13th CHAPTER
chapter 13 is here....hmmm to all the readers out there chapter 13 is ready and ICE is really coping up.... Anyway to those who have just visited, read it from the very first post till you reach chapter 13..Enjoy guys!
chapter 13
FUN. For the very first time, it landed on my lap tonight. I never thought how much i missed having fun and for the very first time it's not with Jake. Now here I am making progress and everything and still Jake had to be brought back from the dead ha ha ha...
So back to reality, I was with Steve the whole night, laughing, having a good time, eating like pigs, and even dancing, which I really refused doing it at first, however Steve made it look so much fun and interesting, so a thousand times of begging and bargaining I actually did it, and it was awesome...the night was awesome. It was a blast! I had a blast... and it was with Steve.
I had never look forward like this for a long time with weekends. It was addicting. It's like a drug that keeps me from screwing my life. Steve and I went out every weekends for the whole month, doing insane things, things I have never got the chance to do with my whole life. We were trying lots of stuff together, activities which we never thought we can ever try. Don't worry nothing illegal anyway. Talking about diversion, lots and lots of diversion.
"Hey Ice, I got something for you...you would really love this." Steve was surprisingly excited handing the fliers.
As usual he was hot, with nothing on top just his khaki shorts.
"What's wrong with you?can't you knock?and why are you naked, you're disgusting!" yep, I always pretended to hate him, I don't know, it kinda works with us.
"Oh c'mon you love it when I don't have my shirt on ha ha ha...it's hot here can't take the hot. So what do you think? Should we try it?"
"I don't know, let me see...hmmm.." As i was browsing it I noticed Jake's name was in it...chief organizer. Something hit me, something sharp, and I tried to catch my breath...everything has resurfaced again, the pain, the shame and even the guilt. I kept silent.
"Yes, he is going to be there Ice, and I know it's been hard on you. However, it's been two months now, you have to face him. Don't you think?"
Steve was right, he knows what I'm going through and he is a good friend. But am I ready for this?
"I don't know Steve, finals are already coming and I had to prepare, and you know...so much things to do..." I made a terrible excuse.
"What? It's next weekend and your final exam is happening this week..that's why we didn't go out right?Oh c'mon, it's like hitting two birds with one stone..you could face Jake and get over him and I can have fun with cute girls plus it's your favorite band..."
"Hmmm why don't you go alone, I'll be fine and besides you'll just left me there alone while you go hang out with hot girls." I can't go, I don't have the guts and I don't want to feel the pain again. I just can't...
"Hey, I will not leave you alone okay?we will do this together, you and me. We will have fun, be crazy and..." he was leaning towards me, and he was touching my face, and i can almost smell his breath...it was... actually, i can't describe it, it felt warm and good.
"Okay..." that's all I can say, while I stare at his eyes, it was like he captivated me.
"Good..." he continued to lean forward, and from what i was thinking I was a hundred percent sure that he is trying to kiss me and i just froze there, i can't hardly move...
chapter 13
FUN. For the very first time, it landed on my lap tonight. I never thought how much i missed having fun and for the very first time it's not with Jake. Now here I am making progress and everything and still Jake had to be brought back from the dead ha ha ha...
So back to reality, I was with Steve the whole night, laughing, having a good time, eating like pigs, and even dancing, which I really refused doing it at first, however Steve made it look so much fun and interesting, so a thousand times of begging and bargaining I actually did it, and it was awesome...the night was awesome. It was a blast! I had a blast... and it was with Steve.
I had never look forward like this for a long time with weekends. It was addicting. It's like a drug that keeps me from screwing my life. Steve and I went out every weekends for the whole month, doing insane things, things I have never got the chance to do with my whole life. We were trying lots of stuff together, activities which we never thought we can ever try. Don't worry nothing illegal anyway. Talking about diversion, lots and lots of diversion.
"Hey Ice, I got something for you...you would really love this." Steve was surprisingly excited handing the fliers.
As usual he was hot, with nothing on top just his khaki shorts.
"What's wrong with you?can't you knock?and why are you naked, you're disgusting!" yep, I always pretended to hate him, I don't know, it kinda works with us.
"Oh c'mon you love it when I don't have my shirt on ha ha ha...it's hot here can't take the hot. So what do you think? Should we try it?"
"I don't know, let me see...hmmm.." As i was browsing it I noticed Jake's name was in it...chief organizer. Something hit me, something sharp, and I tried to catch my breath...everything has resurfaced again, the pain, the shame and even the guilt. I kept silent.
"Yes, he is going to be there Ice, and I know it's been hard on you. However, it's been two months now, you have to face him. Don't you think?"
Steve was right, he knows what I'm going through and he is a good friend. But am I ready for this?
"I don't know Steve, finals are already coming and I had to prepare, and you know...so much things to do..." I made a terrible excuse.
"What? It's next weekend and your final exam is happening this week..that's why we didn't go out right?Oh c'mon, it's like hitting two birds with one stone..you could face Jake and get over him and I can have fun with cute girls plus it's your favorite band..."
"Hmmm why don't you go alone, I'll be fine and besides you'll just left me there alone while you go hang out with hot girls." I can't go, I don't have the guts and I don't want to feel the pain again. I just can't...
"Hey, I will not leave you alone okay?we will do this together, you and me. We will have fun, be crazy and..." he was leaning towards me, and he was touching my face, and i can almost smell his breath...it was... actually, i can't describe it, it felt warm and good.
"Okay..." that's all I can say, while I stare at his eyes, it was like he captivated me.
"Good..." he continued to lean forward, and from what i was thinking I was a hundred percent sure that he is trying to kiss me and i just froze there, i can't hardly move...
Friday, June 18, 2010
REMINDERS
Woah!!! It's been like a year since i wrote something about ICE... I just checked out my AMATURE blog out of boredom and decided to write another chapter...haha....Well guys i want you to know that i'm finished with my degree..i finally graduated and technically have a license to practice what i've been studying for years....oh before i forgot, to those who just visited this page because they were bored, try reading from the bottom to the top..first chapter is on the BOTTOM (oldest post).... and to those who randomly checks this page for a year, trying to see if i have written something.....I'm sorry it took a year to write something...i was busy with everything, job, life and people i hate hahaha.. enjoy guys!
12th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 12
I woke up, still with tears on my eyes, i'm exhausted. I can't be like this all the time... I need to go on with my life with or without Jake!
Hmmm what to do? what to do? Call jake, apologize, hang out then voila!
Are you out of your mind Ice?!!! It's not that simple and besides, you ended it all when you walked out from him remember? So start living your life without Jake, that's the first thing to do Ice....top of your list!
But before i get too excited with this remarkably precarious perception... I need to eat, i haven't been this hungry before, considering i just cried myself to sleep last night, and the other night and the other night also...what am i thinking??? I NEED TO EAT NOW!!!!
So here i was stuffing my face on the fridge, eating whatever i could find, it's too late to cook something, too hungry to wait.
"Ahem...How about dining out?"
I was startled and was choking to death as i noticed him, standing by the door, looking as stunning as before. It was Steve. I forgot about him, all of a sudden he was here.
"Are you okay?Do you need water or something?"
I nodded quickly...embarrassed at the same time annoyed.
"I thought you would never get out from your room Ice... It's been like three days already? What's wrong with you, you're totally freaking me out, aside from you being weird, i'm bored to death here. It's about time we go out and have some fun..what do you think huh?"
He was whining while pouring me a glass of water. And after i drank all of it, I was surprised he was touching my face all of a sudden, i just stood there. Surprisingly his touch was so gentle and soft and it felt great.
"I need to go take a shower." I swiftly turned around, walked away.
"Eeew... Don't tell me you just woke up?"
And here he was... from being sweet to being so peeved..argh! I was reminded that i hated this guy so much.
"Do you wanna go out?" i didn't turned to him. I just stood there.
"If it's not too bothersome for you?I mean if it's okay...I..well.."
"Shut up and get dress, i don't wanna be seen with a total loser... a shirt, pants and sneakers would be okay.." then i walked away....
"what's wrong with what i'm wearing now?"
I didn't answer... i don't want him to ruin my plan, and that is to go out, have fun and live without Jake!
It took me thirty minutes to get ready, was wearing my worn out shorts, my favorite jacket and my sneakers. I saw myself in the mirror, I looked horrible... I looked tired...i took a deep breath, I need to do this! I have to!
"Hey Ice, are you ready?!!!!" Steve was shouting outside like an idiot.
He's annoying, but there's something about him that made me realized that everything is going to be okay. I can't stop thinking about the touch, it was comforting. Aside from being a prick, he knows i'm hurting, i often heard him knock while i was crying..he was asking if i was okay or something, and even though i yelled at him, to mind his own business, he just stands there, i can see his shadow from my door...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
REMINDERS
yo guys!!!! i'm sorry, it's been months...hehe..well i've been busy with my school stuff and all which i really hate FYI. Anyway i posted 4 chapters for you to read (if there's really reading this hehe....) I would like to apologize to those who bothered reading AMATURE, sorry for the late post...and thanks for the comments...hehe well a reminder to the newbies!scroll down...start reading from chapter 1..it's in the bottom..:P hehe thanks! and to those who are not new here chapter 8 is done and you know the drill....
I would like to thank a very good friend of mine, because of her i really find the time to post the four chapters. She'll be leaving to the states next month, damn i'm gonna miss her so much. Hey Irene here's what you want, i've posted it all....i will miss you and take care...oh in case you forget, size 5 lng ko hehehe..just kidding....
I would like to thank a very good friend of mine, because of her i really find the time to post the four chapters. She'll be leaving to the states next month, damn i'm gonna miss her so much. Hey Irene here's what you want, i've posted it all....i will miss you and take care...oh in case you forget, size 5 lng ko hehehe..just kidding....
11th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 11
“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”
Jennifer Aniston
I just stopped. My whole world suddenly stopped. I was like drowning in the deep waves, then it’s suddenly hard to breathe, I was plunge forcibly… little by little, the pain suffocated me. I didn’t even remember it felt like this, it was too much harder than before.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Steve was staring at my phone. There’s a look in his face, look of nosiness, is he curious who was calling? I could see apparently through his face that all he could think of is stealing my phone, but he was restraining himself, of course.
And there I was, startled and at the same time relieved. I, for a second, thought that I’ll be asphyxiated by the ache I have buried deep inside me, well I tried to bury it, however it keeps leaking out.
“Huh?” I just stared at him, and then I did the most stupid thing a person could do… I threw my phone at the trash can. Yeah I just threw my phone, my only phone, and did I mentioned, my expensive phone!
“Whoa! Did u just do that?” Steve was in shocked by the impulsive reaction I’ve made.
“Yeah, do you have a phone?” I too can’t believe what I have done, my mom would burn me alive.
“What? Are you going to throw it too? No way!”
“Relax. . . I’m just gonna call my mother.”
Steve unwillingly, so hesitant, gave his phone, and I was about to smile when it rang. And I recognize the number without doubt.
“Mom?” I picked up hesitantly looking for reasons, how my phone ended up in the trash can.
“Isabella? Is that you? Thank god, you’re with Steve. Is he okay? That poor boy. Can I speak to him?”
What the heck? She looked like she found her lost precious ring, yeah! Thank you mom!!!! We found your prized retard so can I go on with my life now!
“Isabella?”
“Yeah sure mom.” I handed the phone to Steve.
“Hey? Ma’am? It’s okay. Yeah, no problem. Well…?” Steve was walking away; clearly he doesn’t want me eavesdropping.
What the hell, you tell mom everything, so what! I really don’t care, I never cared. I stopped caring since I was forced to move in this crappy place. The only reason I wanna stay here is gone and somehow I really don’t care at all. I am so angry, deep down inside I am so angry with myself, with Jake, with these feelings. I feel rage hidden somewhere inside of me. All I really want is to leave this place and forget everything.
“Hey you’re mom wants to talk to you…” Steve caught me spacing out again, I can’t imagine how he thinks of me.
“Mom?”
“You lost your phone?”
“I could totally explain, mom! I…”
“No need, I’ll send you a new one. Steve filled me with details a while ago, treat him well. Bye.” Just like that, I wasn’t yelled at, and she’ll be sending me a new phone.
“Here. What did you tell my mom?” I handed the phone and I couldn’t believe how powerful the guy standing in front of me, is he that charming that my mom had to be swiped off her feet? Plus, he persuades her to buy me a new phone without asking any questions. Normally mom asks explanations, she never trusts that I lost something which I haven’t got to do with the thing being lost. It was always my fault. But not this time? Hmmm… Steve has the charms he needed; it was like his power, imagine you have that ability; you could get out of trouble anytime anywhere and to anyone, especially my mom. How dandy!
“I would like to tell you but then I have to kill you.” Steve was smiling, again with the perfect smile like that any girl could just be swiped off her feet, but then I’m not just any girl.
“I really don’t care what you’ve told my mother, can we just go, you’ve already wasted my time, let’s not waste another.” Then I turned my back and started walking. I was rude to him, I’m not like that? Not around with Jake… there I was, caught in the act, act of being guilty, guilty as thinking of Jake again, I thought I was going to forget him. I guessed it’s not that easy. He’s just there inside me, lurking behind my mind, wanting to get out, waiting for every chance he could get, waiting for me to be remembered.
“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”
Jennifer Aniston
I just stopped. My whole world suddenly stopped. I was like drowning in the deep waves, then it’s suddenly hard to breathe, I was plunge forcibly… little by little, the pain suffocated me. I didn’t even remember it felt like this, it was too much harder than before.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Steve was staring at my phone. There’s a look in his face, look of nosiness, is he curious who was calling? I could see apparently through his face that all he could think of is stealing my phone, but he was restraining himself, of course.
And there I was, startled and at the same time relieved. I, for a second, thought that I’ll be asphyxiated by the ache I have buried deep inside me, well I tried to bury it, however it keeps leaking out.
“Huh?” I just stared at him, and then I did the most stupid thing a person could do… I threw my phone at the trash can. Yeah I just threw my phone, my only phone, and did I mentioned, my expensive phone!
“Whoa! Did u just do that?” Steve was in shocked by the impulsive reaction I’ve made.
“Yeah, do you have a phone?” I too can’t believe what I have done, my mom would burn me alive.
“What? Are you going to throw it too? No way!”
“Relax. . . I’m just gonna call my mother.”
Steve unwillingly, so hesitant, gave his phone, and I was about to smile when it rang. And I recognize the number without doubt.
“Mom?” I picked up hesitantly looking for reasons, how my phone ended up in the trash can.
“Isabella? Is that you? Thank god, you’re with Steve. Is he okay? That poor boy. Can I speak to him?”
What the heck? She looked like she found her lost precious ring, yeah! Thank you mom!!!! We found your prized retard so can I go on with my life now!
“Isabella?”
“Yeah sure mom.” I handed the phone to Steve.
“Hey? Ma’am? It’s okay. Yeah, no problem. Well…?” Steve was walking away; clearly he doesn’t want me eavesdropping.
What the hell, you tell mom everything, so what! I really don’t care, I never cared. I stopped caring since I was forced to move in this crappy place. The only reason I wanna stay here is gone and somehow I really don’t care at all. I am so angry, deep down inside I am so angry with myself, with Jake, with these feelings. I feel rage hidden somewhere inside of me. All I really want is to leave this place and forget everything.
“Hey you’re mom wants to talk to you…” Steve caught me spacing out again, I can’t imagine how he thinks of me.
“Mom?”
“You lost your phone?”
“I could totally explain, mom! I…”
“No need, I’ll send you a new one. Steve filled me with details a while ago, treat him well. Bye.” Just like that, I wasn’t yelled at, and she’ll be sending me a new phone.
“Here. What did you tell my mom?” I handed the phone and I couldn’t believe how powerful the guy standing in front of me, is he that charming that my mom had to be swiped off her feet? Plus, he persuades her to buy me a new phone without asking any questions. Normally mom asks explanations, she never trusts that I lost something which I haven’t got to do with the thing being lost. It was always my fault. But not this time? Hmmm… Steve has the charms he needed; it was like his power, imagine you have that ability; you could get out of trouble anytime anywhere and to anyone, especially my mom. How dandy!
“I would like to tell you but then I have to kill you.” Steve was smiling, again with the perfect smile like that any girl could just be swiped off her feet, but then I’m not just any girl.
“I really don’t care what you’ve told my mother, can we just go, you’ve already wasted my time, let’s not waste another.” Then I turned my back and started walking. I was rude to him, I’m not like that? Not around with Jake… there I was, caught in the act, act of being guilty, guilty as thinking of Jake again, I thought I was going to forget him. I guessed it’s not that easy. He’s just there inside me, lurking behind my mind, wanting to get out, waiting for every chance he could get, waiting for me to be remembered.
10th CHAPTER
CHAPTER 10
I dream about, how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly,
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear,
People, making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy,
I fantasize about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath… My suicidal dream…..
I didn’t exactly notice the song playing inside my car, it was a song from silver chair, and it kind of conveys what I’m feeling right now. Arrgh! I hate traffic… I hope nothing happened to Steve, it’s been 45 minutes and I’m really sure that the plane landed an hour ago. I don’t know if I’ll be angry with him for making me get up early or I’ll be worried for him because he doesn’t know the place and he’s all alone right now…I think I’ll go with the first part ha-ha!
Hmmm at last, after minutes of driving, airport here I come! Where could Steve be? Hmm should I just wait for him outside or call the security? For god’s sake he’s a year older than you Ice; he knows what to do… Oh, well I’ll just have to go inside and wait for him, I don’t even know what he looks like, and maybe he has a sign or something.
I’ve been standing here for 20 minutes, where is he? the plane arrived an hour ago. This sucks! I’m so hungry and I’m so tired.
“Excuse me? Cassandra?”
“Yes?” hmmm this better be Steve, Well he looks different, and not the one I imagined him to be. I thought he’s the dorky one, the one with the glasses and who looks like a retard… but he’s not, he is awesomely hot! Smoking hot! Tall, with hazel eyes and his shirt compliments his fair skin top with the khaki pants... wow! Not bad…
“Finally! I thought I’ll be staying in a hotel alone, and I’m Steve by the way.” He offered his hands and was waiting for me to shake it, but by the looks of it, I was just staring at him, mesmerized on how hot he is.
“Hmmm are you okay?”
Wake up Ice! Stop staring!
“Oh… How did you know? I mean?” did I mention to you that I look stupid at this time?
“Hmmm I think this would suffice.” He handed an old picture of mine when I was 16 at my mom’s welcome back party. I was not pleased, that pic was horrible. I was not smiling its like I’m too pissed off.
“Oh…It’s Ice by the way.” I gathered myself and pretended to be annoyed. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I can see that he’s too arrogant and by the looks of it he is just some stupid jock who sees me as a dork.
“You’re mom gave me a picture of you and I recognize you immediately because of that look?”
“What look?” Now I’m annoyed, he’s exactly what I pictured him to be, arrogant, stupid jock.
“That look, you’re pissed off right? Look, I’m sorry if I’m a bother to you, if you want I could just check in a hotel.”
Yeah I really like that, but if my mom found out about it I’m totally dead.
“It’s alright, you’re not a nuisance to me and our house is too big for both of us, just don’t get in my way.”
“It’s a deal Ice. Cool name, Isabel Cassandra Elena.” Then he smiled, a smile so perfect, that it makes me thaw out.
I didn’t pay enough attention I just walk ahead of him, and he followed. There’s something about him that intrigues me though. Then my phone rang, it was Jake, he’s calling. For a second I forgot about him, and now all the pain have revisited me, my hands was too shaky, I don’t have the courage to talk to him, not now…
I dream about, how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly,
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear,
People, making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy,
I fantasize about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath… My suicidal dream…..
I didn’t exactly notice the song playing inside my car, it was a song from silver chair, and it kind of conveys what I’m feeling right now. Arrgh! I hate traffic… I hope nothing happened to Steve, it’s been 45 minutes and I’m really sure that the plane landed an hour ago. I don’t know if I’ll be angry with him for making me get up early or I’ll be worried for him because he doesn’t know the place and he’s all alone right now…I think I’ll go with the first part ha-ha!
Hmmm at last, after minutes of driving, airport here I come! Where could Steve be? Hmm should I just wait for him outside or call the security? For god’s sake he’s a year older than you Ice; he knows what to do… Oh, well I’ll just have to go inside and wait for him, I don’t even know what he looks like, and maybe he has a sign or something.
I’ve been standing here for 20 minutes, where is he? the plane arrived an hour ago. This sucks! I’m so hungry and I’m so tired.
“Excuse me? Cassandra?”
“Yes?” hmmm this better be Steve, Well he looks different, and not the one I imagined him to be. I thought he’s the dorky one, the one with the glasses and who looks like a retard… but he’s not, he is awesomely hot! Smoking hot! Tall, with hazel eyes and his shirt compliments his fair skin top with the khaki pants... wow! Not bad…
“Finally! I thought I’ll be staying in a hotel alone, and I’m Steve by the way.” He offered his hands and was waiting for me to shake it, but by the looks of it, I was just staring at him, mesmerized on how hot he is.
“Hmmm are you okay?”
Wake up Ice! Stop staring!
“Oh… How did you know? I mean?” did I mention to you that I look stupid at this time?
“Hmmm I think this would suffice.” He handed an old picture of mine when I was 16 at my mom’s welcome back party. I was not pleased, that pic was horrible. I was not smiling its like I’m too pissed off.
“Oh…It’s Ice by the way.” I gathered myself and pretended to be annoyed. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I can see that he’s too arrogant and by the looks of it he is just some stupid jock who sees me as a dork.
“You’re mom gave me a picture of you and I recognize you immediately because of that look?”
“What look?” Now I’m annoyed, he’s exactly what I pictured him to be, arrogant, stupid jock.
“That look, you’re pissed off right? Look, I’m sorry if I’m a bother to you, if you want I could just check in a hotel.”
Yeah I really like that, but if my mom found out about it I’m totally dead.
“It’s alright, you’re not a nuisance to me and our house is too big for both of us, just don’t get in my way.”
“It’s a deal Ice. Cool name, Isabel Cassandra Elena.” Then he smiled, a smile so perfect, that it makes me thaw out.
I didn’t pay enough attention I just walk ahead of him, and he followed. There’s something about him that intrigues me though. Then my phone rang, it was Jake, he’s calling. For a second I forgot about him, and now all the pain have revisited me, my hands was too shaky, I don’t have the courage to talk to him, not now…
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